Definitely not good at the introduction part.

I'm Ajay, 20. I'm random. Like to do random stuffs.

My hobbies include listening to music, waking, shopping, day dreaming, and surfing the Internet. I think I might have something more to do over the summer.

Usually (most of the time), I have a pessimistic view of the world. I do hope I'll meet someone who'll change it for me. I'm a real sucker for sappy love story. I'd love to see myself in one of those, but I really doubt it's going to happen to me.

I'm not very confident. I do want to be mre confident, however I just don't know how to. Minor set backs really screw me up.

I do read sometime. I'm actually trying to finish a book "Twilight" by "Stephenie Meyer". Though I only read it while traveling. Home, I only read online fictions over at FanFiction.net or FictionPress.com ; These places rock. I did tried writing something a while back, but then just lost interest in it (aka got depressed at the poor writing style as compared to others).

I day dream a lot. I mean A LOT. I wake up and first thing I do is day dream. I mean WTF. I think it's a bi problem but I'm pretty much okay with it. How can you just ignore the solitude and comfort of fiction. Meh, who needs reality. it's just so overrated.

I totally need a Boyfriend and get a life. =_=

I don't like me at all. I'm so working on "the whole getting to like me" project. This summer I'll just knock myself out in the gym and fun and be all sexy. Wish me luck. (You better wish me luck or I'll haunt you sorry ass off *__* )

Oh well, so much for now. It's too hot.

See ya.



COMMENT or MESSAGE ME!



Love ya, xD

=_=

Seriously, It has been so long since been online. *sigh* I really wanna go back to chatting with my OL friends and doing something productive rather than lying around and sleeping. x_x

I don't know what to do.

Let's start by what I have been up to lately. Answer is very simple. NOTHING! Absolutely Nothing. Since college started last year I haven't done anything interesting or fun. What a boring college life. At the begining of the year it was okay, since I was talking to everyone in the class (almost) but then I don't know what happened, suddenly they all stoped talking to me. I ended up having just few of the people from the Hostel to talk to. I think that's cause they can't ignore me >_>.

I think most basic reason would be because most think that I'm gay. Well, I am gay. it's just that they don't know I am. It's confusing. I just that don't think I want to tell them yet. Though the few people I've been close all this time know about it. So far they are okay about it. I think. You just know it's not the same. The way they treat you or others stuffs that goes along. Good thing at least we have something in common to talk about. And I'm not talking about Boys, xD. Wish that was the case. Maybe I'm just over thinking this. I mean I haven't had anyone to talk to about this other than online buddies. But seriously, now that I think about it, maybe I myself am trying to run away form it. I haven't tried to have a relationship or search one since the last time I went out (which BTW ended up hurting me a lot).

I'm reconsidering. I should try to be more positive and happy. I know everyone tells me to, but I just don't see the point in it. There is just no reason for me to be happy. If I find something, it just isn't that way. ARGH! I don't know want I am rambling about. It's just that, when I came out to those in real life (which is a first apart from my OL friends & parents), I just assumed the either of the two possibilities. Maybe they'll reject me (which didn't happen) or they'll be more... who am I kidding. I just thought it would be fun to tell them the truth and see their reactions. The first few weeks were fun. how they used to ask me about stuff. but then I also realized that things started to change. or maybe it was that it was always there and I just didn't noticed.

I don't know how to hang out with people. I've been a serious introvert all my life. Never tried making friends. Myself alone was just so much better. With the fifth wall of technology, what else would I need. But hearing about my OL friends adventures and fun life outside, I just thought that maybe I should try that out too. I really do want to be happy, it's just that I don't know how.

Oh, God! This whole post is like so messed up. No flow of words, just random thoughts.

Well, I think I'll try to ignore all the dark aspects. Not get too personal with people and not take their words to heart. I'll find someone for sure. Hopefully. I'll at least try. Just that I don't know how.

Thanks for reading thought or skimming through this. ^^

Love ya,
~ChaseVoid a.k.a. Ajay

Oh! yeah! I finally got it done. I was tagged by LiliNeko and CG Holy. I don't remeber when.. or what contents were there so i did one. heheh... ok So I'm tagging Chandrika , do it whenever your free..

Full Name – Ajay Murthy Solleti (I HATE it).
Nicknames – I don’t have nicknames T_T So I made mine.. Chase, Frazil (I got my family to finally call me that ^___^)
Single or taken – Single.. I know forever.. (-_- what a emo)
Zodiac Sign – Taurus…Once again, totally suckage on being stuck with a crappy mascot
Male or Female – Male, Duh!
Screenname: ChaseVoid (all the way.. love it ^^ sounds weird though =_= who cares, you know as that only..)

Your Appearance: Old man, Gyaaa.. I hate it, no one thinks anymore I’m a teenager, >_<
Hair Color – Black and brown low lights XD (yup..yup.. same here, but I’ll change it soon, I guess)
Hair Long or Short: Medium T_T I want my long hair back…w waaaaa
Do you have bangs – Depends on what kind you’re referring to, I have wild ones, that never seems to settle
Eye Color – Black
How do your nails look – Yesss.. I love my long nails
Height – Just 5’ 10” I wanna grow tall, but nooo >____<
Do you have a crush on someone – My Shigeru….. I looove him ^^
Do you like yourself – I wish I wasn’t born.. does that help ^^’
Braces – No Hell no, I’m ugly as it is.. don’t need more..
Think you're awesome? – *points to two questions upwards* NOOOOO
Piercings – I’m thinking of getting one, wonder if they’ll look good on me ^.^??
Tattoo – Nope, none yet… again, I’ll do it sometime I guess..
Righty or Lefty – I can’t even right with my Right hand, so left is out of the question

Your Firsts:
First piercing – none
First best friend – I can’t remember, I never had friends, but I guess it was Michele
First Award – Freakish academic award for being first in the whole district -_-‘
First pet – Well MY first pet is by cute puppy Treck, I looove her. ^^ (weird name for a girl ne! but at first I thought it was a guy, so she got that name, and we are sticking with it..)
First vacation – I never went on vacations.. but trips yeah I guess to relatives to a weird place Adra (Don’t search you won’t find it on the map)
First love – Shigeru ^^

Favorites:
Movie – Cardcaptor Sakura
Favorite tv show – F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Color(s) – Olive, lavender, Blueee
Music – Too long list that keeps changing
Food – I want to eat Japanese >_<
Season – None, as Lili quoted, “Summer is too hot, Rainy too wet, and Winter too cold”. I have never experienced Spring or Autumn so can’t comment there
Drink Non Alcoholic – Right now, Watermelon juice
Drink Alcoholic – Strawberry I don’t like it, and haven’t tried most.
Body part (on a boy/girl) – I like the Hair ^^ Only on head BTW
Sport To Play – I don’t do sports, no wonder I’m so fat >___<
Favorite piece of clothing – I don’t know what kind of cloth it is, but I love THAT tee and pants ^^
Place to go – I’m trying to find that out. That’s my goal ^o^
What do you sleep with? – Alone, I’m always alone. I guess if you want to know about inanimate objects too, then a lot of junk, and of course my lappy
Song – Well, blame Lili for making it change so often…
Animal(s) – Wolves, Kitties and puppies ^^
Books – MAGA!!!
Magazines – None for me.. too geeky, so I guess computer one.. heheh

Currently:
Eating – nothing
I'm drinking – Now I need to get some water >_>
I'm about to – clean up spilled water, but too lazy
Listening to – Apologize (ft. One Republic) by Timberland and Happy Birthday by Flipsyde in loops
Waiting For – something to good to happen to me
Watching – The laptop screen with this TAG Q’s (keeping Lili’s answer)
Wearing – Purple with stripes T-shirt, and a Black velet pant, which for some unkonw reasons there days is very very loose. O.o I lost weight yay!!!!

Your Future:
Want Kids? – Not now, after getting a boyfriend probably wanna adopt some
Want to Get Married? – Yesss… I’m waiting to get a green card of English once I get there.. heheh
Careers in Mind – Meh, don’t really have one in mind at the moment. (yes..yes.. I never think of it..)

Which is better with the Opposite Gender:
Lips or Eyes – Eyes, I guess
Hugs or Kisses – I like more hugs, yess…
Shorter or Taller – Not sure about it..
Long Hair or Short – Long ^^ with style of course
Romantic, or Spontaneous – not sure.. never thought of it..
Nice stomach or nice arms – ???
Sensitive or Loud – Loud yess.. totally
Hook-up or Relationship - Relationship
Sweet or Caring - Sweet
Trouble Maker or Hesitant? - Trouble maker I know… it’s like the best..

Have you ever:
Kissed a Stranger – Sorta I guess.. does cheek count ?? (I HATE IT >T<
Drank bubbles – Like, what bubbles, they go poof! always
Lost glasses/contacts – not yet, but broke some ^w^
Ran Away From Home – Yesss, I wish I didn’t come back..
Broken a bone – Not sure, got a bad memory
Got an X-ray – yess…
Broken Someone's Heart – I’m not sure if I did. But knowing me never, since no one is ever attached to me…
Turned Someone Down – yes ^ loved it.. keek ^
Cried When Someone Died – Only when my lovely trecks Mother died, I was soo depressed
Cried at school – yup, because I hate those people, crying has become like a habit to me.. now

Do You Believe In:
God – yeah, but I know he’s plotting something against me
Miracles – Only for the special ones
Love at first sight – not in my case..
Superstitions – yes, because my whole life IS superstitious
Aliens - I just wish they would come here and destroy this planet and the whole human race..
Magic – Yes! I wanna do some magic and go the world my Shigeru is ^^
Heaven – I wanna be in hell BTW, but NOOOOO..
Santa Claus – Not for someone like me
Sex on the first date – On my first dates, I get comments that I’m good and nice and everything, but I’m fat, and then get something stolen #$@#R#@!#@$@#E
Kissing on the First Date – hehehe…
Angels – they are just midgets waiting to carry out GOD’s order to make my life miserable

Answer Truthfully:
Is There someone You Want To be with right now – OMFG! Yess.. I wanna be there where Shigeru is, if not, then Lili will do.

Well, I've officially decided that I'm giving up on my fucked up life. I don't what other thinks, all I know nothing good is ever gonna happen to me. No matter what I wish for I never get it. Guess I shouldn't complain after all I didn't took birth as a beautiful guy and ended up being ugly and obese, with a sticky fucked up attitude.

Seriously, No matter how much I try I just can't seem to accept things. What the hell, who really cares about me anyways.. I mean come on.. people would act all friendly towards me just to use me and then make fun of me. I'm just so tiered of this life. There's no one who could like me and want me to be near them once they see how I really look.

I don't know what to do anymore..?

I just want to disappear............